How to Be More Attractive

Our main priority as Cashflownaires is to reach the Glorious Position of F- You… (this video and post contain adult language)

The reason why this position is so important is because you no longer have to do anything (for money) that you don’t want to do. You won’t have to trade your time for money. You don’t have to constantly chase the next sale. You don’t have to take shit from your boss/manager/client.

More importantly, you won’t have to miss your kid’s soccer game or other special events with your family. You can put your family first instead of last.

Simply put, you’ll have the ability to simply say…”NO!” This ability to say “NO” is life-changing. Take a minute and think about how it would feel to be able to stop doing all of the things you hate doing just to get money.

That’s what we want – CONTROL. It’s about living how we want to live. A big part of reaching this position is eliminating neediness in our lives.

Merriam-Webster defines NEEDY as: “Being in want: poverty-stricken.” “Marked by want of affection, attention, or emotional support – emotionally needy.”

Neediness makes us look silly. It destroys our self-confidence and our self-respect. Neediness is extremely UNATTRACTIVE.

When meeting and hearing about some of my daughter’s friends, I will often say, “Where did all of the men go?” My oldest daughter thought I was talking about Macho Men. I’m not. I’m talking about men who aren’t needy.

We’ve become very NEEDY as a society. Nobody seems to be able to handle anything hard anymore. We’re too focused on getting likes and retweets. We’re all so desperate for approval. Today, we seem to need everything and everyone.

A girl breaks up with a guy. The guy goes to his doctor to get medication because he can’t handle the break up???

When I see this today, I think about soldiers who have fought for the freedoms we enjoy today. Think about the pain and suffering they’ve experienced. Think about how hard their lives were and how much they sacrificed for us. They dealt with mental and physical pain on a routine basis. They also had to deal with loss on a routine basis, too.

This isn’t the same for the majority of us today. Today, we’re far too comfortable, and easy things have become hard things. 🙁

My parents got divorced when I was two years old. Thankfully, my mother and I moved in with her parents. This meant that I grew up living with my grandfather. I had the opportunity to watch a man live without neediness. He was a kind man, but he didn’t take shit from anyone.

My guess is the same is true for your grandfather.

The Position of F- You is built on your ability to eliminate neediness in your life. It’s the foundation of the entire mindset.

The challenge is we’re all needy in different ways because we’re human. We need to examine our lives and find where we’re being needy. What do we NEED in our lives?

Do we need a paycheck? Do we need to make a certain number of sales? Do we need a certain client? Do we need financial or emotional support from anyone? Do we need approval? Do we need likes/retweets/comments on our social media posts? Do we need sugar? Do we constantly need climate-controlled environments? Do we need our cell phones? Do we need caffeine? (I do!) Do we need to constantly see what our friends are doing? Do we need to make this sale? Do we need this month’s rent check from our tenant? Do we need our partner(s)? Do we need our employer? Do we need our friends? Do we need our spouse? Do we need the stock market to appreciate in order to retire? Do we need interest rates to stay low? Do we need our employees? Do we need our web/tech person? Do we need our real estate broker?

Anything we NEED makes us weaker.

It’s easy to see this because neediness tends to bring remorse. We actually feel bad about whatever it is we desperately need. We feel this remorse at our core because we know deep down that we’ve allowed ourselves to be desperate – and we intuitively feel that our neediness isn’t good.

Here are a few examples…

  1. You need the rent check from your tenant. Your
    tenant doesn’t pay on time and isn’t taking care of the
    property, but you won’t evict them. You won’t evict
    them because you NEED their rent. A month or two of
    vacancy would be too expensive for you, so you deal
    with a crappy tenant. Your NEEDINESS makes you miserable.
  2. You cannot go a day without your cell phone.
    Remember the last time you left your cell phone at home
    and couldn’t go back to get it? How did you feel? You
    probably felt like you’ve made a massive mistake, and
    that’s because we’ve all become dependent upon our
    phones.
  3. You’re overly concerned about your credit score.
    This used to be me. I needed good credit scores so I
    could borrow money to buy real estate. I read books. I
    interviewed experts. I did everything I could to increase
    my credit scores. I was so concerned about being able to
    put a noose around my financial neck. WTF was I thinking?
  4. You’re a real estate investor and you need your
    shitty property management company to manage
    your properties. Your property manager sucks, but you
    won’t fire them because you need them to manage your
    property. They own you and can dictate whatever terms
    they want regardless of how well they manage your
    property.
  5. You need a commission check so you agree to spend your entire weekend showing homes to a picky buyer who can’t make up their mind. Or you’re so desperate for a sale, so you take an over-priced listing hoping that you’ll be able to get the priced reduced down the road. Because you need the sale, you aren’t willing to say what needs to be said to these two clients. You don’t have the ability to say, “NO!”

We can easily improve our lives by minimizing or eliminating our need(s).

This is one of the reasons why I write so much about paying off your debt. It dramatically reduces your neediness. If you don’t have debt, you don’t need a lot of money. If you’re in debt, you NEED money.

Now, I’m going to flip this around by saying you don’t need to be in the Position of F- You financially to eliminate neediness. It’s a state of mind that you decide to live by and you can start right now! You start by being willing to accept whatever consequences come from not being needy.

  • You evict you tenant quickly and do what needs to be done even though you don’t want to.
  • You get off of social media so you that don’t need to check your life-sucking cell phone every two seconds.
  • You stop borrowing money so that you’re credit score no longer matters.
  • You fire your shitty property manager and start managing your investment properties on your own.
  • You tell your buyer to find another agent because they’re wasting your time. You tell the seller that their home won’t sell at that price and that they need to be realistic or you won’t work with them.
  • You tell your boss/manager who treats you poorly to fuck off and you take your special talents somewhere else where you’ll be respected.

Eliminating neediness requires us to do things we don’t want to do – and that’s the entire point. We become needy when we’re not willing to do what needs to be done. We become needy when we’re not willing to say what needs to be said. And finally, we become needy when we allow other people to walk all over us without taking a stand.

The reality is that you’ll never reach the position of F-You, if you’re needy and aren’t willing to do things you don’t want to do.

Last but certainly not least, understand there’s a BIG difference between wanting something and needing it. It’s OK to want something. It’s not OK to need something.

I want this month’s rent check from my tenant. However, I don’t need their rent check because there is no mortgage on the property. If they don’t pay, I will initiate eviction quickly. Tenants can smell neediness, and they’ll definitely use it to their advantage.

I want the real estate market and the stock market to appreciate. I don’t need any of my assets to appreciate in order to achieve my financial goals. (You might want to read that again – it’s important).

I want you to become a Cashflownaire Member. I work hard to help my Members move closer to the F-You Position, but I don’t need you to be a Member. If you don’t become a Cashflownaire, it’s your loss.

I want my partner(s) to help out with our apartment building. I don’t need them to help out. I can handle anything and everything on my own.

To come back to where we started with this little ditty… about being more attractive:

You instantly become more attractive when you’re no longer needy.